When you get married, you pour all your love into this one person, your best friend and life partner. You cannot imagine feeling as intensely or as genuinely about anyone else, but then something happens. You begin to plan a family. And again, you pour all of your love into this idea of the child you and your partner are creating. You dream about how your baby will look, grow, and learn. And that baby is born, and she is everything to you. Your world. Lydia was the child I dreamed of first as a little girl and then as a grown woman.
But then something else happened. When Lydia was just 15 months old, I was pregnant again, and two years after giving birth to Lydia, I gave birth to Bryce. My son. And he taught me a new kind of love. A love I never knew I had inside me. A love I love to give.
I love everything about my son. He’s quirky, grumpy, silly, and adorable. Sometimes he’s too rough, he pours water on the floor for fun, throws his toys, and laughs as I get frustrated. He nags for things he can’t have and rarely follows the directions given to him. But he snuggles with me every single night, and no matter how close together we are, he tries to get even closer. He has the funniest answer to every single question, has the most contagious giggle, and wants to be held as often as possible. He loves ‘squishy’ things, playgrounds, and is super-sweet to babies. He has a sensitivity that is often misunderstood. He cried last week when I read him Five Little Ducks before bed because the mommy duck missed her babies.
This amazing little child has taught me how to love regardless of situations. To give love unconditionally like nobody else had taught me before. He loves me endlessly. I know this every moment of every day. Because even though he’ll run away from me and hide sometimes, he always makes sure he can easily find me. And when he can’t, he’s really sad. I want to spend each day of my life teaching him how to be an incredible man as he teaches me how to be the best mom for him.
Bryce, on your 4th birthday today, I wish you the absolute best year yet, filled with all of the love and beautiful memories we can share!