This post may sound ridiculous, but I’m having a rough day with so much work to do and two very active children asking for everything imaginable and destroying my house and barking dogs and people knocking on the door and I just feel stressed out and crazed. So here goes: I miss my husband. No, we’re not separated. No, he’s not out of town. No, he doesn’t work all day and night. Quite the opposite: we are always together, he hasn’t gone anywhere other than work/errands without me, and he has great work hours.
This past weekend, for the first time ever, Richard and I went out of town for the day, just the two of us. We left our home in South Florida around 8:30 am on Sunday morning, dropped my kids off at my sister’s house, drove to Orlando for our friends’ wedding, picked the kids up around 9:30 pm Sunday evening, and drove back home. That is the longest we have been together, child-free, in almost 6 years. And if you count pregnancy, it’s been well over 6 years. It was about 13 hours of “us” time. Time to get dressed up and style our hair, sing in the car together, reminisce about old times, flirt with each other (and whoever crossed our path), have a few drinks, eat delicious food, and just focus on us. Worry-free time for us.
My husband turned into a sissy and has been my best friend for what feels like my entire life. I knew from the moment I met him that he would be someone important to me. He made me smile and laugh like nobody else. He was playful and always up for fun. He’s an incredible friend, an incredible husband, and an incredible father. I don’t need to tell anyone who reads my blog that raising two children with him has already been the most amazing journey of my life. But we chose to have children together for a reason: we absolutely adore each other. I think he’s just the smartest, funniest, cutest, most affectionate, most charming, and most supportive person alive. I cannot brag about him enough. And we get to spend time with each other every day (sometimes very little, sometimes several hours), but quite frankly, it just isn’t enough. Whenever we are together, there’s always something else going on. I’m doing work, the kids are jumping all over us, we’re cooking dinner, we’re putting the kids to bed, etc. And weekends aren’t much better. Between kids’ birthday parties and other obligatory events, we rarely get the time to just bond.
Our lives together, as a family, are absolutely beautiful. Our family is beautiful. But damn do I miss us. I miss late-night dinners out. I miss going to clubs. I miss leaving the house spontaneously and making love anytime of the day or night. I always tell my pregnant friends to enjoy all the time they can just the two of them. Before they have to monitor children during every moment of their lives. When they can still poop in privacy. When they can run to the grocery store to grab one or two things without diaper bags and car seats and stopping to breastfeed and chasing toddlers as they hide behind aisles, knocking food containers onto the floor. Or throwing food and dishes on the floor in restaurants. Just enjoy the amazing bond between you and your partner and the freedom to be adults. Teenagers complain about having a curfew for a few years; parents have curfews for 18 years (per child).
I love my children eternally and I think they are just the most wonderful little people alive… but damn I miss my husband. I miss us.
Many many couples forget that they married each other not their kids. You must must make time for the two of you. I’ve seen marriages crumble because couples forget that they need to make time for each other. I do babysit you know. On weeknights. No curfew. Not that we’ve met in person, but Wells can vouch for me.