I used to have this whole thought pattern, that while I did not believe in an all-knowing power, I was also unable to fight being drawn to you in a way I could not understand beyond ‘meant to be’. It seemed to defy all logic and reason. It reached beyond what I could control, what I could predict, and what I could create on my own. I thought it was chosen for me, for us, by some sort of outside force that I could not explain, because it felt outside my scope of understanding. It was stronger than I was on my own.
What I’ve come to realize is that it’s not the supernatural or the work of a higher being. It’s not the strength of a greater plan or a story we are just acting out; it’s the power of chance. It’s the law of randomness. It’s the likelihood that two points could be haphazardly connected by one line, and the resulting electricity between them, is us. And it’s the unlikeliness that that exact line, that exact energy, could ever be retraced, redrawn, recreated.
It may not have been planned like this for us, and we may not have wanted it to go this way, with so many initial barriers for us to break through, and still barriers we tackle each day as a married couple, but by chance it happened. And each day, we live the connection between the two random points, the way they have connected for us, forever. A connection that is ours alone.
And maybe what I’ve realized in 13 years of marriage is that the beauty of randomness – the indirect path between to points, the redirects, curves, sidesteps, zigzags – is more magical than the myth of the supernatural.
I love you, Richard. Happy 13th anniversary.